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Véronique

 

 

I want what she’s having!

Tags

joy, passion, satisfaction

In the movie « When Harry Met Sally…» there’s this really famous scene, where Sally is really enjoying herself while she’s having a sandwich in a diner. Having observed the scene, a women at a nearby table says to the waitress « I’ll have what she’s having », pointing to Sally.
That scene is a great metaphor for the way the world looks to us: you see someone having a great experience, and you see that they have certain circumstances. So you make the understandable mistake of assuming there is a causal link between the two. And you know what, there isn’t. Ever. That’s not how life works.

Our experience doesn’t come from circumstances, it is internally generated. That’s why it is possible to be young, hot, rich, successful and depressed. But that’s also why it is possible to be old, sick, poor and happy. Find your satisfaction, joy and passion inside of yourself and then bring it to everything you do – and you’ll feel satisfied, happy and passionate about everything you do.

When you see people who really enjoy their life, their partner, their job, their travels, their place, it’s very tempting to think « If only I had their circumstances, I would enjoy life too. » But the truth is, if you swapped circumstances, you would still feel like you do (generally) and they would feel like they do (generally speaking), unless something in your understanding shifted along with your circumstances. The reason why they’re enjoying their lives, is not that their circumstances are better or superior, it’s just that they have a higher capacity to enjoy life in the moment. And this capacity for enjoyment is a result of understanding how life really works.

The good news is: anyone can learn to increase their capacity for enjoyment. Our default setting is wall to wall enjoyment. We all have it in us, it’s our nature.  And we can all have a learning curve about it and discover our capacity to enjoy life indiscriminately, like children do.

And in the end you CAN have what she’s having, which is not a certain set of circumstances, but a great EXPERIENCE of life!

My question for you is: Does this sound familiar? Do you personally know someone with a very high capacity to enjoy life? Can you see that this has nothing to do with circumstance? What can you learn from this person?

Was this blogpost helpful for you? I would love to hear your reactions!

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Love,

Véronique

It’s much easier to navigate life when we understand how stuff works. My work as a Three Principles coach consists of exploring with my clients « how life really works » and what is true for all human beings. Does this resonate with you? Do you want to know more? Contact me and we’ll have a chat. Looking forward to hearing from you !

It’s just a misunderstanding… that 99% of the world lives with

Most of us grow up believing that in order to be happy, we have to get all our circumstances right: we need to get the right degree, land that perfect job, be in a great relationship and have a certain amount of money on our bank account… But many of us have reached a lot of those things and realized « there is no there there ».

A couple of years ago, I had achieved all the things I thought I needed to achieve in order to be happy, and all of a sudden I realized, « Oh my god, I ticked off all the boxes, I have all the things I always thought would make me happy, and I’m not very happy. » To be honest that kind of freaked me out. Given that I had already achieved all those things, and they hadn’t given me any satisfaction, I glimpsed that I could continue on this path of chasing one thing after another, one goal after another, for the rest of my life and it would never lead me to what I really wanted, which was happiness, peace of mind and joy. Because, the problem is, every time you reach one goal, you see another goal further down the road that you think you need to reach to get to happiness, but it’s like a carrot on a stick, it always remains out of reach. You never get « there », every time you get to what seemed like « there », it feels an awful lot like « here », and if « here » is where dissatisfaction and frustration live, then that sucks.

But I didn’t know of any other way. Was there even an alternative ? It really looked to me like there was a consensus in the world that, if you get your life sorted, if you get all your circumstances right, then the result would be perfect happiness.

When I started learning about the Principles, I realized it was all just One Big Misunderstanding. It turns out that the world works exactly the opposite way then we think it does. We don’t feel our circumstances, we feel our thinking in the moment. Joy, satisfaction, passion,… are the result of our thinking in the moment. These feelings can not be found out there, they are generated inside of us, through the gift of thought. And when we start to understand this better and better, life gets a lot easier. If you think it’s something outside of you that makes you feel bad, you will waste a lot of time and energy trying to change everything and everyone, so that you can feel better. The moment you realize your experience is self-generated, you can start looking inside. If you find joy and satisfaction inside of you then it is yours to keep, wherever you go and whatever life brings. You can be satisfied and happy in life, even if things don’t go the way you planned, even when faced with setbacks or challenges.

Was this blogpost helpful for you? I would love to hear your reactions!

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Love,

Véronique

It’s much easier to navigate life when we understand how stuff works. My work as a Three Principles coach consists of exploring with my clients « how life really works » and what is true for all human beings. Does this resonate with you? Do you want to know more? Contact me and we’ll have a chat. Looking forward to hearing from you !

The surprising secret of Highly Confident People

Tags

confidence, guidance, wisdom

About a year ago, I realized something had shifted for me when it comes to « confidence ». I was on the way to a restaurant, where I was meeting someone for lunch for the first time. As I was walking and enjoying the sunshine, all of a sudden it hit me : « I’m not nervous. » This took me by surprise. I wondered how and when that had happened. Before, I had always been nervous about meeting up with people for the first time. I would try to prepare for the conversation. Will I know what to say? Will we connect? What if I can’t answer his questions? What if I’m not articulate? As I remembered that I used to think all that before, I realized all those fears just seemed silly to me now. I just thought, « Well, whatever happens, I’ll just see what comes up. If nothing comes up I’ll wait and listen. If something comes up, I’ll probably share that. ».

How could I be so relaxed and confident about this? Well, while learning about the Principles, I came to see for myself that Wisdom is always there to guide me, every step of the way. The thing is, when it comes down to it, we always know how to handle the moment, in the moment. And that’s what Confidence really means! I’m not « confident » because I think I know everything, or because I figured out before the fact what I would say if different scenarios play out. I’m confident that there’s an endless tap of wisdom that is always at hand. I’m confident that new thought can come to me at any moment « out of nowhere », responsive to the moment. That’s how the system works, that’s how we function as human beings, every single one of us.

We are informed by this incredible intelligent energy, the human potential. In the Three Principles community we call this energy Mind. This resource is always available to us « in streaming ». It’s like having a high speed internet connection available non-stop, so no need to have a whole bunch of stuff (= what if scenarios, conversations) downloaded on our hard drive (= intellect, memory). We can just show up every day, in any situation, and get fresh new information in the moment that is perfectly suitable and informed, and perfectly right for this particular situation, in this particular moment.

So, if this is true, how come we don’t always feel confident? How come we don’t always feel guided? Well, I would say it’s all just a simple misunderstanding. Most of us grew up with an incomplete understanding of how life works, how human beings function. Somewhere along the way we start believing that the best way to find answers and solutions is to think, analyse, « search our hard drive ». Until someone points us in a different direction, shows us another way, and then we can start looking in that direction for ourselves, and see for ourselves that there is an easier way to navigate life. Once we start looking, we can start seeing.

Was this blogpost helpful for you? I would love to hear your reactions!

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Love,

Véronique

It’s much easier to navigate life when we understand how stuff works. My work as a Three Principles coach consists of exploring with my clients « how life really works » and what is true for all human beings. Does this resonate with you? Do you want to know more? Contact me and we’ll have a chat. Looking forward to hearing from you !

Need to make a decision? Three important questions to ask yourself

Tags

clarity, emotional reactions, moods

A lot of my clients contact me because they need to make an important decision, and they feel very confused about it, and need some help. I want to share with you Three Key Questions that you can ask yourself that could help you.

1) «Am I clear right now or am I in a reaction?»

If you’re about to make a big life decision right now, I would like to ask you, which state of mind are you in right now? Are you about to make a decision from a clear mind or from an emotional reaction? We want to live our lives from wisdom and not from our emotional reactions, be it fear, anger, frustration or impatience. But how can we know for sure that the voice we’re hearing is the voice of wisdom and not the voice of fear? The feeling will tell you. If you feel anything other then calm and clear, it’s not wisdom. If you feel angry, sad, frustrated, upset, hurried, pressured: you’re in emotion. I could go even further and say that in fact, if you struggle to make a decision, you can be sure that you are not clear, because when we are clear the answer to any question usually seems very simple and obvious.

Our states of mind are temporary and transient, if you wait a minute your mind will clear, because it always does. When you feel more settled and calm, you’ll be in a better place to make a decision. We are much more capable to make intelligent informed decisions when we have a clear mind, when we’re not caught up in an emotional reaction.

2) « How do I tend to think about this issue when I’m in a good mood? »

Did you notice how in the course of an hour, a day or a week, your mood goes up and down. And the way you see yourself, others and the world shifts along with it? Did you notice that this issue (that you’re trying to decide on) looked slightly different every time your mood shifted, even just slightly?

Try to remember how your perception of this particular issue was evolving in your best moments during the past week. Why? Because having a good feeling is an indication that your mind is in a healthy mode, and when that happens, the quality of your thinking goes up and you make better decisions.

You can take your feeling as an indicator for the quality of your thinking. Trust that what you think when you feel good/clear is more intelligent, more informed, more reliable then what you think when you feel anxious, scared, angry or simply tired.

3) «If my potential for happiness and well-being is a given, then what do I feel like doing?»

Learning about the Three Principles, we start to understand that our feelings do not come from our circumstances, and our well-being and happiness are not dependent on them. I’ll write a specific Newsletter about this very subject in the coming weeks, but in the meantime I’d like to ask you this: If you knew for sure that your chances to be happy and fulfilled were absolutely the same whether you chose A or B, then what would you want to do?

Was this blogpost helpful for you? I would love to hear your reactions!

Looking forward to hearing from you,
Love,

Véronique

It’s much easier to navigate life when we understand how stuff works. My work as a Three Principles coach consists of exploring with my clients « how life really works » and what is true for all human beings. Does this resonate with you? Do you want to know more? Contact me and we’ll have a chat. Looking forward to hearing from you !